• Latest
  • Contribute
  • Contact Us
  • Login
  • Register
Muslim Mamas
  • Login
  • About Us
    • About Muslim Mamas
    • Our Team
    • Portfolio
    • Meet The Writers
  • Articles
    • All
    • Baby Led Weaning
    • Back to School
    • Beauty
    • Blogger news
    • Book Review
    • Breastfeeding
    • British Muslim Bloggers
    • Business
    • Business Mums
    • Career
    • Caught our eye
    • Charity
    • Chef Hat
    • Childcare
    • Children
    • Community
    • Conception
    • Culture
    • Days Out
    • Discoveries
    • Discrimination
    • Divorce
    • Duas
    • Eco Choices
    • Education
    • Entrepreneurs
    • Family Diet
    • Family Life
    • Fashion
    • Featured
    • Food
    • Friendships
    • Glass Ceiling
    • Global Muslim Bloggers
    • Going Organic
    • Good Reads
    • Green Life
    • Health
    • Healthy Eats
    • Healthy Kids
    • Higher Education
    • Holidays
    • Home Schooling
    • House & Home
    • How-To
    • Inspirations
    • Interesting reads
    • Islamic Calendar
    • Islamic Gems
    • Juggling
    • Kids Books
    • Labour
    • Life As we Know It
    • Lifestyle
    • Marriage
    • Money Talk
    • Mother in Law
    • Motherhood
    • Mums That Study
    • Muslim Spotlight
    • Muslim Vloggers
    • New Mum
    • Newborn
    • Parenting
    • Postnatal
    • Pregnancy
    • Premium
    • Quran
    • Ramadan
    • Recipes
    • Recycling
    • Relationships
    • Reminders
    • Retraining
    • Sex Talk
    • Single Mum
    • Sisters Circles
    • Skincare
    • Social Media
    • Socialising
    • Stories
    • Tear Jerker
    • Teens
    • Toddler
    • Traditions
    • Travel
    • Trouble at the Office
    • TV Talk
    • Uncategorized
    • Uni Kids
    • What to eat
    • What we're watching
    • Whats App Groups
    • Where to eat
    • Winning
    • Working Mums
    • World

    On saying goodbye (Hijrah diaries)

    Family Friendly Halal Restaurants (UK)

    Elderly Hijabi woman in cool water

    Hijabis In The Heat: The Good, Bad and Ugly

    Muslim Mamas Guide to Visiting a Mosque

    Lung Cancer Awareness Month

    Avoid type 2 diabetes with free evidence-based NHS lifestyle programme

    Trending Tags

    • Premium
    • Work From Home
  • Podcast
    • Episodes
    • Platforms
      • Amazon Music
      • Apple Podcast
      • Spotify
    • About Us
    • Pod Gems
  • Categories
    • Motherhood
      • Conception
      • Pregnancy
      • Labour
      • Postnatal
      • Breastfeeding
      • Contraception
      • Newborn
      • Toddler
      • Children
      • Teens
      • Uni Kids
      • Parenting
      • New Mum
    • Relationships
      • Marriage
      • Single Mum
      • Divorce
      • Mother in Law
      • Family Life
      • Friendships
      • Socialising
      • Meet ups
      • Sisters Circles
      • Whats App Groups
      • Married kids
      • Sex Talk
    • Food
      • Where to eat
      • What to eat
      • Healthy Eats
      • Allergies
      • Recipes
      • Baby Led Weaning
      • Family Diet
      • Healthy Kids
      • Pack Lunch
      • Chef Hat
    • Lifestyle
      • Beauty
      • Skincare
      • Fashion
      • Days Out
      • Nights Out
      • Holidays
      • Discoveries
      • Traditions
      • Culture
      • Mum Accessories
      • Competition & Give Away
      • TV Talk
      • Social Media
      • Travel
    • Blogger news
      • British Muslim Bloggers
      • Global Muslim Bloggers
      • Muslim Vloggers
      • Muslim Spotlight
      • Caught our eye
    • Career
      • Working Mums
      • Childcare
      • Juggling
      • Trouble at the Office
      • Glass Ceiling
      • Winning
      • Inspirations
      • Business Mums
      • Entrepreneurs
      • Business
    • Education
      • Home Schooling
      • Back to School
      • Retraining
      • Higher Education
      • Mums That Study
      • Kids Books
    • Islamic Gems
      • Quran
      • Tafseer
      • Reminders
      • Duas
      • Stories
      • Islamic Calendar
      • Interesting reads
    • Green Life
      • Going Organic
      • Recycling
      • Eco Choices
    • Life As we Know It
      • Money Talk
      • Discrimination
      • What we’re watching
      • Tear Jerker
  • VIP Lounge
    • Enter VIP Lounge
    • Library
  • Directory
    • Businesses
    • Add Listing
  • Newsletter
No Result
View All Result
  • Login
  • About Us
    • About Muslim Mamas
    • Our Team
    • Portfolio
    • Meet The Writers
  • Articles
    • All
    • Baby Led Weaning
    • Back to School
    • Beauty
    • Blogger news
    • Book Review
    • Breastfeeding
    • British Muslim Bloggers
    • Business
    • Business Mums
    • Career
    • Caught our eye
    • Charity
    • Chef Hat
    • Childcare
    • Children
    • Community
    • Conception
    • Culture
    • Days Out
    • Discoveries
    • Discrimination
    • Divorce
    • Duas
    • Eco Choices
    • Education
    • Entrepreneurs
    • Family Diet
    • Family Life
    • Fashion
    • Featured
    • Food
    • Friendships
    • Glass Ceiling
    • Global Muslim Bloggers
    • Going Organic
    • Good Reads
    • Green Life
    • Health
    • Healthy Eats
    • Healthy Kids
    • Higher Education
    • Holidays
    • Home Schooling
    • House & Home
    • How-To
    • Inspirations
    • Interesting reads
    • Islamic Calendar
    • Islamic Gems
    • Juggling
    • Kids Books
    • Labour
    • Life As we Know It
    • Lifestyle
    • Marriage
    • Money Talk
    • Mother in Law
    • Motherhood
    • Mums That Study
    • Muslim Spotlight
    • Muslim Vloggers
    • New Mum
    • Newborn
    • Parenting
    • Postnatal
    • Pregnancy
    • Premium
    • Quran
    • Ramadan
    • Recipes
    • Recycling
    • Relationships
    • Reminders
    • Retraining
    • Sex Talk
    • Single Mum
    • Sisters Circles
    • Skincare
    • Social Media
    • Socialising
    • Stories
    • Tear Jerker
    • Teens
    • Toddler
    • Traditions
    • Travel
    • Trouble at the Office
    • TV Talk
    • Uncategorized
    • Uni Kids
    • What to eat
    • What we're watching
    • Whats App Groups
    • Where to eat
    • Winning
    • Working Mums
    • World

    On saying goodbye (Hijrah diaries)

    Family Friendly Halal Restaurants (UK)

    Elderly Hijabi woman in cool water

    Hijabis In The Heat: The Good, Bad and Ugly

    Muslim Mamas Guide to Visiting a Mosque

    Lung Cancer Awareness Month

    Avoid type 2 diabetes with free evidence-based NHS lifestyle programme

    Trending Tags

    • Premium
    • Work From Home
  • Podcast
    • Episodes
    • Platforms
      • Amazon Music
      • Apple Podcast
      • Spotify
    • About Us
    • Pod Gems
  • Categories
    • Motherhood
      • Conception
      • Pregnancy
      • Labour
      • Postnatal
      • Breastfeeding
      • Contraception
      • Newborn
      • Toddler
      • Children
      • Teens
      • Uni Kids
      • Parenting
      • New Mum
    • Relationships
      • Marriage
      • Single Mum
      • Divorce
      • Mother in Law
      • Family Life
      • Friendships
      • Socialising
      • Meet ups
      • Sisters Circles
      • Whats App Groups
      • Married kids
      • Sex Talk
    • Food
      • Where to eat
      • What to eat
      • Healthy Eats
      • Allergies
      • Recipes
      • Baby Led Weaning
      • Family Diet
      • Healthy Kids
      • Pack Lunch
      • Chef Hat
    • Lifestyle
      • Beauty
      • Skincare
      • Fashion
      • Days Out
      • Nights Out
      • Holidays
      • Discoveries
      • Traditions
      • Culture
      • Mum Accessories
      • Competition & Give Away
      • TV Talk
      • Social Media
      • Travel
    • Blogger news
      • British Muslim Bloggers
      • Global Muslim Bloggers
      • Muslim Vloggers
      • Muslim Spotlight
      • Caught our eye
    • Career
      • Working Mums
      • Childcare
      • Juggling
      • Trouble at the Office
      • Glass Ceiling
      • Winning
      • Inspirations
      • Business Mums
      • Entrepreneurs
      • Business
    • Education
      • Home Schooling
      • Back to School
      • Retraining
      • Higher Education
      • Mums That Study
      • Kids Books
    • Islamic Gems
      • Quran
      • Tafseer
      • Reminders
      • Duas
      • Stories
      • Islamic Calendar
      • Interesting reads
    • Green Life
      • Going Organic
      • Recycling
      • Eco Choices
    • Life As we Know It
      • Money Talk
      • Discrimination
      • What we’re watching
      • Tear Jerker
  • VIP Lounge
    • Enter VIP Lounge
    • Library
  • Directory
    • Businesses
    • Add Listing
  • Newsletter
No Result
View All Result
Muslim Mamas
No Result
View All Result
Home Motherhood Parenting

This Is Not Your Journey Mum by Aliya Malik

Aliya Malik by Aliya Malik
04/18/2025
in Family Life, Featured, Motherhood, Parenting, Teens
0 0
0
0
SHARES
211
VIEWS
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

As parents we have such high aspirations and dreams for our children, we want them to be the next prime minister, astronaut or world leader! Ok not quite but let’s face it, we all do it. We subconsciously burden our children with all our hopes and dreams of what their life should look like. We have our own picture of what success should look like. That picture has all the things we didn’t do in our lives and wish we had. It’s as if we want to live again through our kids. That’s why when our kids are different to what we had in mind, we are left disappointed and often resentful.  

 

To make matters worse, our Asian/ Arab communities really focus on the achievements of their children and somehow use it as a status symbol. It is something parents use to show off with, like a new expensive car. Yes, sure we should celebrate high achievers but not at the expense of making everyone else feel like a failure. Not because they have actually failed but because they didn’t take the expected path or fulfil their parents’ ambitions for them.

This mind set can be painful not only for us as the parent but also for our children. We just look at them with eyes filled with disappointment. Placing a burden on them when really we should be dealing with our own feelings and expectations.

So, what do you do when your child isn’t the golden child you hoped for? He or she is just a regular kid and all you see is disappointment? Well, here are a few ways to help you change your mindset and deal with it without hurting your child. 


Indeed, your child may not be as you expected but they will thrive if they know you believe in them, no matter what they do. So, if they excel at something, then be encouraging and kind even if you don’t like it or think it is valuable. In addition to that, never show your children that your love for them depends on how well they do. It’s key to make sure your children know your love for them is bigger than any test result or career choice. 

Even if things do go wrong, then react calmly. Screaming and shouting at exam failure or life choices really doesn’t help anyone and may only make your child do worse or give up altogether. Try to avoid labelling your child, as this limits them. Simple phrases like, you can never find anything or your useless only makes them act that way even more as their confidence and self esteem dwindles. It’s better to motivate and reassure them because shaming them just hurts and makes things worse. Encouraging them with constant reassurance and love can really work wonders for a child, teenager or young adult. 


Finally, and as a last thought, it is fine to be firm with your children but be kind. It can be really frustrating when your child doesn’t make the life choices you had hoped they would but that’s life. Don’t have too many high expectations so that you are not constantly disappointed. Showing care and encouragement, no matter what they do will only strengthen your relationship with them. Remember they are on their life journey and it’s not yours. Allah is there for them, just like he was for you, so trust him and his plan. 

How do you ensure you raise your children without imposing your wills and wants in a detrimental way? Let us know in the comments.

Aliya Malik

Aliya Malik

A mother of five amazing children and my proudest achievement. I live in London and love being part of a big extended family. My parents and siblings all live near to me and we are a very close family. Birthdays and celebrations are always fun but very hectic with so many of us mashallah. My family and my Deen are the centre of my life.

Related Posts

Featured

On saying goodbye (Hijrah diaries)

by Mariya Bint Rehan
11/01/2024
Featured

Family Friendly Halal Restaurants (UK)

by Muslim Mamas
04/18/2025
Elderly Hijabi woman in cool water
Life As we Know It

Hijabis In The Heat: The Good, Bad and Ugly

by Fareeda Saddiq
04/18/2025
Education

Muslim Mamas Guide to Visiting a Mosque

by Sarah Jane
04/18/2025
Featured

Lung Cancer Awareness Month

by Muslim Mamas
04/18/2025

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

I agree to the Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.

Premium Content

That First Period by Stay By Sameena Ashraf

04/18/2025

20 Healthy Snack Ideas That’ll Tickle Your Tot’s Taste Buds by Sabrina Alwan

04/18/2025

Tiny Hands by Asma Khatun

09/08/2021

Browse by Category

  • Baby Led Weaning
  • Back to School
  • Beauty
  • Blogger news
  • Book Review
  • Breastfeeding
  • British Muslim Bloggers
  • Business
  • Business Mums
  • Career
  • Caught our eye
  • Charity
  • Chef Hat
  • Childcare
  • Children
  • Community
  • Conception
  • Culture
  • Days Out
  • Discoveries
  • Discrimination
  • Divorce
  • Duas
  • Eco Choices
  • Education
  • Entrepreneurs
  • Family Diet
  • Family Life
  • Fashion
  • Featured
  • Food
  • Friendships
  • Glass Ceiling
  • Global Muslim Bloggers
  • Going Organic
  • Good Reads
  • Green Life
  • Health
  • Healthy Eats
  • Healthy Kids
  • Higher Education
  • Holidays
  • Home Schooling
  • House & Home
  • How-To
  • Inspirations
  • Interesting reads
  • Islamic Calendar
  • Islamic Gems
  • Juggling
  • Kids Books
  • Labour
  • Life As we Know It
  • Lifestyle
  • Marriage
  • Money Talk
  • Mother in Law
  • Motherhood
  • Mums That Study
  • Muslim Spotlight
  • Muslim Vloggers
  • New Mum
  • Newborn
  • Parenting
  • Postnatal
  • Pregnancy
  • Premium
  • Quran
  • Ramadan
  • Recipes
  • Recycling
  • Relationships
  • Reminders
  • Retraining
  • Sex Talk
  • Single Mum
  • Sisters Circles
  • Skincare
  • Social Media
  • Socialising
  • Stories
  • Tear Jerker
  • Teens
  • Toddler
  • Traditions
  • Travel
  • Trouble at the Office
  • TV Talk
  • Uncategorized
  • Uni Kids
  • What to eat
  • What we're watching
  • Whats App Groups
  • Where to eat
  • Winning
  • Working Mums
  • World

Browse by Tags

author beauty biff and chip Book review books children community culture dhul hijjah divorce dua education facebook hajj health hijab hijabi hijabi influencers husband Instagram islamaphobia Islamic reminder islamic reminders lifestyle marriage media modest fashion motherhood mum and daughter muslim author news parenthood parenting politics Publishing Ramadan Ramadan22 Ramadan2022 relationships salah short film Sisterhood spirituality tips and tricks travel

Quick Links

  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Become A Writer
  • Meet The Writers
  • Promote Your Business
  • Host An Event
  • Host A Course

Recent Posts

  • On saying goodbye (Hijrah diaries)
  • Family Friendly Halal Restaurants (UK)
  • Hijabis In The Heat: The Good, Bad and Ugly

Follow Us

Signup for our Newsletter

Loading...

Thank you!

You have successfully joined our subscriber list.
.

Muslim Mamas © 2022 Copyrighted to Muslim Mamas

  • Login
  • Sign Up
No Result
View All Result
  • Login
  • About Us
    • About Muslim Mamas
    • Our Team
    • Portfolio
    • Meet The Writers
  • Articles
  • Podcast
    • Episodes
    • Platforms
      • Amazon Music
      • Apple Podcast
      • Spotify
    • About Us
    • Pod Gems
  • Categories
    • Motherhood
      • Conception
      • Pregnancy
      • Labour
      • Postnatal
      • Breastfeeding
      • Contraception
      • Newborn
      • Toddler
      • Children
      • Teens
      • Uni Kids
      • Parenting
      • New Mum
    • Relationships
      • Marriage
      • Single Mum
      • Divorce
      • Mother in Law
      • Family Life
      • Friendships
      • Socialising
      • Meet ups
      • Sisters Circles
      • Whats App Groups
      • Married kids
      • Sex Talk
    • Food
      • Where to eat
      • What to eat
      • Healthy Eats
      • Allergies
      • Recipes
      • Baby Led Weaning
      • Family Diet
      • Healthy Kids
      • Pack Lunch
      • Chef Hat
    • Lifestyle
      • Beauty
      • Skincare
      • Fashion
      • Days Out
      • Nights Out
      • Holidays
      • Discoveries
      • Traditions
      • Culture
      • Mum Accessories
      • Competition & Give Away
      • TV Talk
      • Social Media
      • Travel
    • Blogger news
      • British Muslim Bloggers
      • Global Muslim Bloggers
      • Muslim Vloggers
      • Muslim Spotlight
      • Caught our eye
    • Career
      • Working Mums
      • Childcare
      • Juggling
      • Trouble at the Office
      • Glass Ceiling
      • Winning
      • Inspirations
      • Business Mums
      • Entrepreneurs
      • Business
    • Education
      • Home Schooling
      • Back to School
      • Retraining
      • Higher Education
      • Mums That Study
      • Kids Books
    • Islamic Gems
      • Quran
      • Tafseer
      • Reminders
      • Duas
      • Stories
      • Islamic Calendar
      • Interesting reads
    • Green Life
      • Going Organic
      • Recycling
      • Eco Choices
    • Life As we Know It
      • Money Talk
      • Discrimination
      • What we’re watching
      • Tear Jerker
  • VIP Lounge
    • Enter VIP Lounge
    • Library
  • Directory
    • Businesses
    • Add Listing
  • Newsletter

Muslim Mamas © 2022 Copyrighted to Muslim Mamas

Welcome Back!

Sign In with Facebook
Sign In with Google
OR

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password? Sign Up

Create New Account!

Sign Up with Facebook
Sign Up with Google
OR

Fill the forms bellow to register

*By registering into our website, you agree to the Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.
All fields are required. Log In

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In
This website uses cookies. By continuing to use this website you are giving consent to cookies being used. Visit our Privacy and Cookie Policy.