Raising more than one child is a challenge in any kind of household dynamic. In a single-parent home, it also becomes much more demanding. Rehana understands this well. A single mum of twin girls. She ended up being a single mum due to separation from her husband when her children were only one. She claims the biggest obstacle in being a single parent was learning exactly how to manage her twins alone – and also eventually knowing she had to get help.
Single mammas are paving the way for single-parent homes in the UK, according to ons.gov.uk, which curates national statistics, the site says that last year, 14.9% of the families in the UK were lone parent families (2.9 million). They also state that lone parent mothers remained the most common type of lone parents in 2019, accounting for 86% of this family type.
In Muslim communities, divorcees and widows with children encounter the difficulty of frequently being stigmatized by society. This is further imposed in most cases by a basic absence of support while raising their family from extended family.
In addition to the stigma single Muslim mums are frequently looked down upon or might be prevented from remarrying as a result of cultural limitations. Ladies who are divorced are perceived as already psychologically repackaging as well as repurposing their lives, while for those that are widows, lone motherhood includes obstacles that resemble a myriad of perceived problems including an absence of emotional, monetary (and also various other) assistance which makes them ‘less desirable’.
It’s common that Muslim partners, especially women, only take divorce into consideration as a last option after exhausting arbitration efforts as well as looking for support from religious authorities and other family members. Divorcees are typically then left to figure it out by themselves in a post-divorce landscape. These women, some who inevitably become single-parent households, later deal with social ostracism as well as isolation from their nearest and dearest due to the stigma surrounding divorce.
Rehana said she believes single mamas experience challenges across the board when they become a single Muslim mother and transitioning to single-parent life is something no one plans for, whether due to separation, ending up a widow or any other reason.
It may be complicated but you are not alone. If you know a single Muslim mama tell them about our community. Let us help each other and inshallah make it easier to raise our children.
Single mum to my beautiful son and fiery daughter (she's the youngest but definitely the boss). Seeing the light at the end of the divorce tunnel. Grateful to Allah for everything I have and for all his help during all the different life tests I have had. Doing my best to make sure my children have everything they need to flourish and thrive.