I stared at my youngest most of the night reminiscing the night he was born after a gruelling long and painful labour. Born three years ago tonight at 2.41am. The shape of his face, his hands, the way he scrunches his nose and purses his lips in his sleep. It’s a beautiful bottomless pit of love that you feel and there are no words to capture the extent of what is bursting in your heart.
My fourth son alhamdulillah. In my heart, I already knew his name 2 years before his birth. I mentioned it here on MM after the birth of my 3rd. I was not ready to have a 4th child yet Allah gifted him to me unexpectedly. I named him after a Prophet known for his strength. Musa. And ladies, my Musa has changed my life and given me a strength I didn’t know I could have. He made me relearn motherhood – every knowledge I thought was a given, experience I took for granted. He gave me confidence, taught me to stand up for myself and focus on what is important to me.
He made me prioritise my time and health in a way I never had before. My 4th child was the birth of me. I may have not thought I was ready for him but Allah knew why I needed him. SubhanAllah.
I am not sure why I am writing this post. It’s the middle of the night. But I just wanted to reach out and ask for duas. That Allah protects my boys and guides them to be of benefit to His path. That He grants us the ability to be the mothers who can facilitate change in the next generation and raise them in the way most pleasing to Him. Ameen.
And ladies, when we are feeling low or confused and we are not sure what we want. Truly He knows what is best for us and He knows what we need at what time and that is exactly what He gives to us. ❤️
