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Home Motherhood

Putting Myself First by Shereen Aktar

Guest Writer by Guest Writer
10/22/2021
in Featured, Health, Motherhood, Newborn, Parenting, Pregnancy
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My daughter is 8 weeks old MashaAllah. However the last couple of weeks have been extremely difficult. Despite going through the checklist of hunger, temperate, sleep, nappy, cuddle nothing seems to work.

‘I’m a bad mother who can’t soothe her child’

‘I’m a terrible wife who is not preparing dinner on time’ 

‘I’m a bad Muslim because I don’t do my prayers on time’

‘I’m a bad person as I am ungrateful for what I have’

‘I’m a failure’

‘I can’t do this’

‘Why is this happening to me?’

Exhausted, I easily fell into the trap of negative thinking and felt so much guilt. 

Yes motherhood is tough but how I was feeling was not normal. The anxiety, low mood, lack of appetite, lack of motivation were all signs. Signs that I was struggling. 

See no one talks about these things. When I asked mothers around me I was told to pray and that it’s normal. Many made comparisons. I felt inadequate as a mother, a wife and a woman. However, I acknowledged these thoughts and challenged them. 

💎 I decided to outsource the cooking, which I had been saying I would do ‘one day’. Yes there was guilt (stemming from what I thought was expected of me) but after a lot of reflection I did it for ME. 

💎 I decided to take 5 minutes each day where I just sat alone and had a hot drink. Just stop and take a deep breath. Where I could just be ME. 

💎 I decided the chores could wait, the sink full of dishes could wait, laundry could wait, the dusting could wait. My first priority alongside my daughter was ME. 

💎 See the thing is many of the expectations we put on ourselves are based on what expectations society has of us. I was expected to just tough it out and not seek help. I set the expectations for ME. 

💫It has taken many years of working on myself, my mindset and growth to get to a stage where I am able to put my needs first, without feeling any guilt or anxiety.

💫So any mammas out there struggling- you are not alone. Reach out for help. Don’t let the expectations of others weigh you down. 

💫Keep going. You’ve got this 💪🏼. 

Drop a ❤️ in the comments if you can relate!

Guest Writer

Guest Writer

All guest writer articles come from our Muslim Mamas community or from our network of supporters. Some contribute one-off stories; some contribute as anonymous mamas. All experiences and opinions are those of the writers.

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