My daughter is 8 weeks old MashaAllah. However the last couple of weeks have been extremely difficult. Despite going through the checklist of hunger, temperate, sleep, nappy, cuddle nothing seems to work.
‘I’m a bad mother who can’t soothe her child’
‘I’m a terrible wife who is not preparing dinner on time’
‘I’m a bad Muslim because I don’t do my prayers on time’
‘I’m a bad person as I am ungrateful for what I have’
‘I’m a failure’
‘I can’t do this’
‘Why is this happening to me?’
Exhausted, I easily fell into the trap of negative thinking and felt so much guilt.
Yes motherhood is tough but how I was feeling was not normal. The anxiety, low mood, lack of appetite, lack of motivation were all signs. Signs that I was struggling.
See no one talks about these things. When I asked mothers around me I was told to pray and that it’s normal. Many made comparisons. I felt inadequate as a mother, a wife and a woman. However, I acknowledged these thoughts and challenged them.
💎 I decided to outsource the cooking, which I had been saying I would do ‘one day’. Yes there was guilt (stemming from what I thought was expected of me) but after a lot of reflection I did it for ME.
💎 I decided to take 5 minutes each day where I just sat alone and had a hot drink. Just stop and take a deep breath. Where I could just be ME.
💎 I decided the chores could wait, the sink full of dishes could wait, laundry could wait, the dusting could wait. My first priority alongside my daughter was ME.
💎 See the thing is many of the expectations we put on ourselves are based on what expectations society has of us. I was expected to just tough it out and not seek help. I set the expectations for ME.
💫It has taken many years of working on myself, my mindset and growth to get to a stage where I am able to put my needs first, without feeling any guilt or anxiety.
💫So any mammas out there struggling- you are not alone. Reach out for help. Don’t let the expectations of others weigh you down.
💫Keep going. You’ve got this 💪🏼.
Drop a ❤️ in the comments if you can relate!