• Latest
  • Contribute
  • Contact Us
  • Login
  • Register
Muslim Mamas
  • Login
  • About Us
    • About Muslim Mamas
    • Our Team
    • Portfolio
    • Meet The Writers
  • Articles
    • All
    • Baby Led Weaning
    • Back to School
    • Beauty
    • Blogger news
    • Book Review
    • Breastfeeding
    • British Muslim Bloggers
    • Business
    • Business Mums
    • Career
    • Caught our eye
    • Charity
    • Chef Hat
    • Childcare
    • Children
    • Community
    • Conception
    • Culture
    • Days Out
    • Discoveries
    • Discrimination
    • Divorce
    • Duas
    • Eco Choices
    • Education
    • Entrepreneurs
    • Family Diet
    • Family Life
    • Fashion
    • Featured
    • Food
    • Friendships
    • Glass Ceiling
    • Global Muslim Bloggers
    • Going Organic
    • Good Reads
    • Green Life
    • Health
    • Healthy Eats
    • Healthy Kids
    • Higher Education
    • Holidays
    • Home Schooling
    • House & Home
    • How-To
    • Inspirations
    • Interesting reads
    • Islamic Calendar
    • Islamic Gems
    • Juggling
    • Kids Books
    • Labour
    • Life As we Know It
    • Lifestyle
    • Marriage
    • Money Talk
    • Mother in Law
    • Motherhood
    • Mums That Study
    • Muslim Spotlight
    • Muslim Vloggers
    • New Mum
    • Newborn
    • Parenting
    • Postnatal
    • Pregnancy
    • Premium
    • Quran
    • Ramadan
    • Recipes
    • Recycling
    • Relationships
    • Reminders
    • Retraining
    • Sex Talk
    • Single Mum
    • Sisters Circles
    • Skincare
    • Social Media
    • Socialising
    • Stories
    • Tear Jerker
    • Teens
    • Toddler
    • Traditions
    • Travel
    • Trouble at the Office
    • TV Talk
    • Uncategorized
    • Uni Kids
    • What to eat
    • What we're watching
    • Whats App Groups
    • Where to eat
    • Winning
    • Working Mums
    • World

    Everything you need to know about Ramadan Fasting During Pregnancy

    In Memory of my Dada (Grandad)

    To the Mama who isn’t Practicing

    Reaping a richer Ramadan with children

    Asmaa Hussein - Ruqaya's Bookshelf

    I Took My Hijab Off Today

    Navigating Christmas as a Muslim Revert

    Trending Tags

    • Premium
    • Work From Home
  • Podcast
    • Episodes
    • Platforms
      • Amazon Music
      • Apple Podcast
      • Spotify
    • About Us
    • Pod Gems
  • Categories
    • Motherhood
      • Conception
      • Pregnancy
      • Labour
      • Postnatal
      • Breastfeeding
      • Contraception
      • Newborn
      • Toddler
      • Children
      • Teens
      • Uni Kids
      • Parenting
      • New Mum
    • Relationships
      • Marriage
      • Single Mum
      • Divorce
      • Mother in Law
      • Family Life
      • Friendships
      • Socialising
      • Meet ups
      • Sisters Circles
      • Whats App Groups
      • Married kids
      • Sex Talk
    • Food
      • Where to eat
      • What to eat
      • Healthy Eats
      • Allergies
      • Recipes
      • Baby Led Weaning
      • Family Diet
      • Healthy Kids
      • Pack Lunch
      • Chef Hat
    • Lifestyle
      • Beauty
      • Skincare
      • Fashion
      • Days Out
      • Nights Out
      • Holidays
      • Discoveries
      • Traditions
      • Culture
      • Mum Accessories
      • Competition & Give Away
      • TV Talk
      • Social Media
      • Travel
    • Blogger news
      • British Muslim Bloggers
      • Global Muslim Bloggers
      • Muslim Vloggers
      • Muslim Spotlight
      • Caught our eye
    • Career
      • Working Mums
      • Childcare
      • Juggling
      • Trouble at the Office
      • Glass Ceiling
      • Winning
      • Inspirations
      • Business Mums
      • Entrepreneurs
      • Business
    • Education
      • Home Schooling
      • Back to School
      • Retraining
      • Higher Education
      • Mums That Study
      • Kids Books
    • Islamic Gems
      • Quran
      • Tafseer
      • Reminders
      • Duas
      • Stories
      • Islamic Calendar
      • Interesting reads
    • Green Life
      • Going Organic
      • Recycling
      • Eco Choices
    • Life As we Know It
      • Money Talk
      • Discrimination
      • What we’re watching
      • Tear Jerker
  • VIP Lounge
    • Enter VIP Lounge
    • Library
  • Directory
    • Businesses
    • Add Listing
  • Newsletter
No Result
View All Result
  • Login
  • About Us
    • About Muslim Mamas
    • Our Team
    • Portfolio
    • Meet The Writers
  • Articles
    • All
    • Baby Led Weaning
    • Back to School
    • Beauty
    • Blogger news
    • Book Review
    • Breastfeeding
    • British Muslim Bloggers
    • Business
    • Business Mums
    • Career
    • Caught our eye
    • Charity
    • Chef Hat
    • Childcare
    • Children
    • Community
    • Conception
    • Culture
    • Days Out
    • Discoveries
    • Discrimination
    • Divorce
    • Duas
    • Eco Choices
    • Education
    • Entrepreneurs
    • Family Diet
    • Family Life
    • Fashion
    • Featured
    • Food
    • Friendships
    • Glass Ceiling
    • Global Muslim Bloggers
    • Going Organic
    • Good Reads
    • Green Life
    • Health
    • Healthy Eats
    • Healthy Kids
    • Higher Education
    • Holidays
    • Home Schooling
    • House & Home
    • How-To
    • Inspirations
    • Interesting reads
    • Islamic Calendar
    • Islamic Gems
    • Juggling
    • Kids Books
    • Labour
    • Life As we Know It
    • Lifestyle
    • Marriage
    • Money Talk
    • Mother in Law
    • Motherhood
    • Mums That Study
    • Muslim Spotlight
    • Muslim Vloggers
    • New Mum
    • Newborn
    • Parenting
    • Postnatal
    • Pregnancy
    • Premium
    • Quran
    • Ramadan
    • Recipes
    • Recycling
    • Relationships
    • Reminders
    • Retraining
    • Sex Talk
    • Single Mum
    • Sisters Circles
    • Skincare
    • Social Media
    • Socialising
    • Stories
    • Tear Jerker
    • Teens
    • Toddler
    • Traditions
    • Travel
    • Trouble at the Office
    • TV Talk
    • Uncategorized
    • Uni Kids
    • What to eat
    • What we're watching
    • Whats App Groups
    • Where to eat
    • Winning
    • Working Mums
    • World

    Everything you need to know about Ramadan Fasting During Pregnancy

    In Memory of my Dada (Grandad)

    To the Mama who isn’t Practicing

    Reaping a richer Ramadan with children

    Asmaa Hussein - Ruqaya's Bookshelf

    I Took My Hijab Off Today

    Navigating Christmas as a Muslim Revert

    Trending Tags

    • Premium
    • Work From Home
  • Podcast
    • Episodes
    • Platforms
      • Amazon Music
      • Apple Podcast
      • Spotify
    • About Us
    • Pod Gems
  • Categories
    • Motherhood
      • Conception
      • Pregnancy
      • Labour
      • Postnatal
      • Breastfeeding
      • Contraception
      • Newborn
      • Toddler
      • Children
      • Teens
      • Uni Kids
      • Parenting
      • New Mum
    • Relationships
      • Marriage
      • Single Mum
      • Divorce
      • Mother in Law
      • Family Life
      • Friendships
      • Socialising
      • Meet ups
      • Sisters Circles
      • Whats App Groups
      • Married kids
      • Sex Talk
    • Food
      • Where to eat
      • What to eat
      • Healthy Eats
      • Allergies
      • Recipes
      • Baby Led Weaning
      • Family Diet
      • Healthy Kids
      • Pack Lunch
      • Chef Hat
    • Lifestyle
      • Beauty
      • Skincare
      • Fashion
      • Days Out
      • Nights Out
      • Holidays
      • Discoveries
      • Traditions
      • Culture
      • Mum Accessories
      • Competition & Give Away
      • TV Talk
      • Social Media
      • Travel
    • Blogger news
      • British Muslim Bloggers
      • Global Muslim Bloggers
      • Muslim Vloggers
      • Muslim Spotlight
      • Caught our eye
    • Career
      • Working Mums
      • Childcare
      • Juggling
      • Trouble at the Office
      • Glass Ceiling
      • Winning
      • Inspirations
      • Business Mums
      • Entrepreneurs
      • Business
    • Education
      • Home Schooling
      • Back to School
      • Retraining
      • Higher Education
      • Mums That Study
      • Kids Books
    • Islamic Gems
      • Quran
      • Tafseer
      • Reminders
      • Duas
      • Stories
      • Islamic Calendar
      • Interesting reads
    • Green Life
      • Going Organic
      • Recycling
      • Eco Choices
    • Life As we Know It
      • Money Talk
      • Discrimination
      • What we’re watching
      • Tear Jerker
  • VIP Lounge
    • Enter VIP Lounge
    • Library
  • Directory
    • Businesses
    • Add Listing
  • Newsletter
No Result
View All Result
Muslim Mamas
No Result
View All Result
Home

Post-Divorce Perks And Pitfalls

A time to pause and reflect - by Salma Abdi

Salma Abdi by Salma Abdi
01/14/2022
in Divorce, Family Life, Relationships
0 0
0
Divorce - perks and pitfalls
0
SHARES
62
VIEWS
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Marriage really is a big test in our lives. But it’s a test that sadly has no short cuts.

You do your best to choose the right partner and try to avoid problems but it’s never easy for anyone. You often think that getting to know each other before marriage or having a long engagement will be the key to a successful marriage but sadly not. Expectations that we will find a perfect match are nothing more than a myth, there is no perfect match. It’s a long-term investment that you have to work hard at, to make it successful.    

So, when it doesn’t work and you get divorced, what then? For me, a woman who is divorced is truly a brave one. Remember more often than not, a woman gets married young and moves from her parent’s house to her marital home with little or no life experience. I know sometimes, it’s not her choice to get divorced but that’s life. No matter how far Islam has come to keep up with modern times, divorce is still a hated word, but for many, it’s the best outcome for all concerned.     

Now… let’s just deal with the perks after a woman’s divorce is finally granted. If you don’t have children then frankly, it’s a chance to get something from your old life back. If not that, then at least you have the opportunity to start over, whether it’s to start a new career or change the one you have. It’s a time to relax and find yourself again.  Often this takes a back seat when you are a couple. You get your freedom back and can connect with old friends that you had before you got married. You get to decide who you want to spend time with… and of course no more weird in-laws. 

Being divorced gives you another chance to live your life in your own way. It can also be a time to reflect, now that you have experience behind you, about the kind of husband you do want to spend the rest of your life with. Even simple things, like choosing what to eat or watch on tv will take on new meaning especially if you had a very domineering husband. If you have kids, then you can enjoy your time with them more. You can choose the activities you feel are beneficial for them. You can decide who you think they should spend time with and make your own house rules. Plus, you get free time from them when they are with their father. The impact of the divorce on the kids may actually be good because now they wouldn’t have to see their parents constantly argue and fight. 

Now this all sounds pretty good but life is never that simple is it and there are always pitfalls to overcome. Our community can sometimes be really harsh to a divorced woman. Often, she will be blamed for not trying harder to keep the family together. Even other women will see her as a threat to their own husbands which is frankly madness. The in-laws who may have actually been nice at some point, will no doubt take the side of their son now.  

Often new freedoms bring different kinds of problems. The husband may use financial means to control a woman’s life even after a divorce. If he refuses to pay what he has to under Islamic rules, to his wife, then there is little a woman can do. She will need to have support from her family until she can financially support herself.  Living back with your family after being married is not easy. Your husband may not be there to ask where you have been but your father probably is or even worse your brother.                

Then there is the unwanted attention from other men and not just single ones. A divorced woman is often seen as easy and will settle for anything. So many will try it on with a divorced woman but wouldn’t dare with a single one. It’s the downside of divorce and how women are viewed by Muslim men in our communities. Even what you wear or where you’re seen takes on new meaning and your every move is now up for judgment by people who probably hardly know you but will manage to tell your ex-husband about it. Even those who do know you, will feel sorry for you, even though you are probably much happier now.  Often, they will try to persuade you that getting back with your ex is something you should consider.  

If you have kids then any decision you make will be contested by your ex. Things which they probably didn’t even bother to get involved with while you were married. Which after school club they attend or which Arabic school you choose will be up for debate. Even going on holiday will be a contest about who could give the kids a better time. The impact on the kids can be tough and it’s usually left to the mother to try to deal with. Friends are forced to take sides and even step back from the relationship with the women for fear of offending the ex husband and his family.    

Finally, yes, divorce has many perks and pitfalls but it is something that Allah has provided for us to use when all other doors are closed.

At the end of the day, no matter what anyone says, it’s there for both men and women to help them start over, when a marriage no longer works. Everyone deserves a second chance.       

Tags: divorcemarriage
Salma Abdi

Salma Abdi

Single mum to my beautiful son and fiery daughter (she's the youngest but definitely the boss). Seeing the light at the end of the divorce tunnel. Grateful to Allah for everything I have and for all his help during all the different life tests I have had. Doing my best to make sure my children have everything they need to flourish and thrive.

Related Posts

Family Life

Navigating Christmas as a Muslim Revert

by Sarah Yataghane
02/02/2023
Family Life

Caring for our elders as Muslim Mamas

by Sarah Yataghane
02/02/2023
Marriage

The Rise of the ‘do it all’ Daddies

by Guest Writer
08/24/2022
Featured

Toxic friendships – learning when it’s time to say goodbye

by Tasneem Abdur-Rashid
06/10/2022
Beauty

A Muslim Mamas guide to helping her daughter love her body (Part 1)

by Sarah Yataghane
02/02/2023

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

I agree to the Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.

Quick Links

  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Become A Writer
  • Meet The Writers
  • Promote Your Business
  • Host An Event
  • Host A Course

Recent Posts

  • Everything you need to know about Ramadan Fasting During Pregnancy
  • In Memory of my Dada (Grandad)
  • To the Mama who isn’t Practicing

Follow Us

Signup for our Newsletter

Loading...

Thank you!

You have successfully joined our subscriber list.
.

Muslim Mamas © 2022 Copyrighted to Muslim Mamas

  • Login
  • Sign Up
No Result
View All Result
  • Login
  • About Us
    • About Muslim Mamas
    • Our Team
    • Portfolio
    • Meet The Writers
  • Articles
  • Podcast
    • Episodes
    • Platforms
      • Amazon Music
      • Apple Podcast
      • Spotify
    • About Us
    • Pod Gems
  • Categories
    • Motherhood
      • Conception
      • Pregnancy
      • Labour
      • Postnatal
      • Breastfeeding
      • Contraception
      • Newborn
      • Toddler
      • Children
      • Teens
      • Uni Kids
      • Parenting
      • New Mum
    • Relationships
      • Marriage
      • Single Mum
      • Divorce
      • Mother in Law
      • Family Life
      • Friendships
      • Socialising
      • Meet ups
      • Sisters Circles
      • Whats App Groups
      • Married kids
      • Sex Talk
    • Food
      • Where to eat
      • What to eat
      • Healthy Eats
      • Allergies
      • Recipes
      • Baby Led Weaning
      • Family Diet
      • Healthy Kids
      • Pack Lunch
      • Chef Hat
    • Lifestyle
      • Beauty
      • Skincare
      • Fashion
      • Days Out
      • Nights Out
      • Holidays
      • Discoveries
      • Traditions
      • Culture
      • Mum Accessories
      • Competition & Give Away
      • TV Talk
      • Social Media
      • Travel
    • Blogger news
      • British Muslim Bloggers
      • Global Muslim Bloggers
      • Muslim Vloggers
      • Muslim Spotlight
      • Caught our eye
    • Career
      • Working Mums
      • Childcare
      • Juggling
      • Trouble at the Office
      • Glass Ceiling
      • Winning
      • Inspirations
      • Business Mums
      • Entrepreneurs
      • Business
    • Education
      • Home Schooling
      • Back to School
      • Retraining
      • Higher Education
      • Mums That Study
      • Kids Books
    • Islamic Gems
      • Quran
      • Tafseer
      • Reminders
      • Duas
      • Stories
      • Islamic Calendar
      • Interesting reads
    • Green Life
      • Going Organic
      • Recycling
      • Eco Choices
    • Life As we Know It
      • Money Talk
      • Discrimination
      • What we’re watching
      • Tear Jerker
  • VIP Lounge
    • Enter VIP Lounge
    • Library
  • Directory
    • Businesses
    • Add Listing
  • Newsletter

Muslim Mamas © 2022 Copyrighted to Muslim Mamas

Welcome Back!

Sign In with Facebook
Sign In with Google
OR

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password? Sign Up

Create New Account!

Sign Up with Facebook
Sign Up with Google
OR

Fill the forms bellow to register

*By registering into our website, you agree to the Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.
All fields are required. Log In

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In
This website uses cookies. By continuing to use this website you are giving consent to cookies being used. Visit our Privacy and Cookie Policy.