Advice Newly Single Muslim Mothers Need To Know! By Nazneen Bashir

1. Accept Help. 

Learn to take assistance from family and good friends. Do not feel ashamed and always ask yourself when feeling guilty for not managing on your own whether you would be helping others if they were in the same position as you are.

2. Single parenting doesn’t make you “not religious.”

Muslim communities do not actively encourage the formation of single parent households, however, certain stories from the Quran talk favourably of single mamas. Maryam alayhis salaam was picked to be a single mum by Allah (S), as stated in the Quran. Additionally single Muslim mamas might gain a better spiritual state once they are separated from a non functional relationship allowing more time to raise their children in a faith-based environment (especially if this was a problem before separation.) Muslim communities often place the religious and also spiritual connection on the mother, which may function to her benefit when she is entirely in charge of what and how they learn about their spirituality and faith. 

3. You will need to give up your social life.

 A single parent does not have a social life. Nevertheless, you can find time for yourself if loved ones can help out, like watching the kids while you pop out for a coffee or asking them to help practically for example doing the grocery shop for you. It is necessary to implement a system in order to make the most of your time, but understand that at first, this may feel impossible.

4. Prepare to have a hard time financially.

When you become a single parent you sometimes don’t realise that your financial situation will change and you may not be able to maintain the lifestyle you once had. Take charge of your finances and conserve as much cash as possible so that you are prepared. 

5. It’s okay to remarry.

While some Muslim women have chosen not to remarry or are actively resisting pressure to remarry from the community most do consider giving it a chance. 

You do not need someone else to raise your children or make you happy but if you are at a point where you feel that someone special would be a good addition to your family dynamic then any pressure / negative comments from the family should not deter you if you are sure about the person’s character. You may feel like your children will not fare well to having someone new in their life but as their mother in most cases you know best.

6. Everything will be alright.

Whether you are widowed, divorced or your relationship has broken down for another reason it is important to process that you have suffered a loss. This however does not take away from the fact that you are still a mother and you will push through. Some days will be harder than others but with the right help and mindset you will be able to overcome any challenges. Your children have you and that is what matters. You have got this!

Do you have any advice to share? Let us know in the comments!