I remember the Ramadans before I got married. How they would be filled with night prayers, reading Qur’an, supplications into the breaking of dawn. My time was free and I was able to dedicate it to worship.
I remember my Ramadan after You blessed me with my first born… a beautiful daughter. How I still managed to fill my nights with prayers, reading Quran and supplication. Having one baby and being a single mum was manageable.
I remember the Ramadan after I gave birth to my youngest of two boys and I wept. That must have been my worst Ramadan ever. Time escaped me, I was so tired all the time. I could barely get through the days. The Ramadan’s that followed as they grew have blurred into one. I did not feel I offered in worship what I had yearned to. The ‘mum guilt’ kept burning me up inside.
Oh Allah, how I wish this Ramadan will be better than the last few years. I want to make You happy. I want to really get the essence of Ramadan and why it was prescribed for us, and pass it on to my children.
Now I know, as a mother of young children, that it’s not just about reading Qur’an all day and praying all night, because I can’t do that anymore in the same way I used to.
Oh Allah, I’m not able to think how I’m going to worship You the best way this Ramadan, with two little boys who demand so much of me.
Oh Allah, You know what the best way for a mother to worship in Ramadan is.
You have promised You wouldn’t burden anyone with more than they could bear. I know now that my worship to You is in every act of motherhood that I do.
Oh Allah, when I think of Your Mercy I am not disheartened but instead rejoice, for You in Your endless Mercy and Wisdom have made it easy for us mothers to pile on our rewards and attain Jannah, … we only have to seek it.
Oh Allah, guide me and strengthen me to be the best version of myself in Your path.