Everyone’s birthing experiences are different and obviously so special /horrific depending on what goes down! There’s a whole lot of excitement during the pregnancy that you don’t really hear much about what to expect after. The only thing I heard on repeat was about how to avoid your baby becoming so windy lol. My cousin just had a baby shower for her first pregnancy. And again, the hot topic about what vegetables to avoid eating if you’re breastfeeding came up! Is a trumpy baby that bad?
We all see those mums that can just crack on and the baby just fits into their routine, but then that’s what it looks like. I’m looking to you guys for this, do you have to make an active effort to make sure that the baby fits into your life? The reality for us was that my husband and I fitted our lives around our baby’s routine!
I feel like I was super lucky with the first little one. I noticed that I had such a supportive network around me as I was surrounded by women which is what I needed. Most of those that I worked with were mums, most of my clients were mums and it meant that I got soo much advice. I got told about the fun stuff, what to buy, where to get maternity wear and heard their birthing experiences.
The only thing that I feel I wanted to know about that was amiss during my first pregnancy was the lack of information about how your emotions heightened after birth.
My labour was fairly quick, I had a few complications which meant I had a midwife screaming at me to push and there was no time to figure out what was going on. Again, I might hear the word ‘complication’ but no one would elaborate further. My eldest pooed during my labour which meant I would’ve got severely ill if he’d stayed inside me much longer and the same with him as he was more likely to eat it. All sounds gross but it happens. As I had to rush, I tore a lot of my ‘downstairs’ which meant having stitches in the theatre for 2 hours and then staying in hospital for a few days after giving birth.
The nurses did their best to show me how to feed and change my new baby but I couldn’t really take it in. I was in so much pain and the thought of going home with this new human was overwhelming.
When I got home, I felt like there was so much expected of me, but I couldn’t walk properly, couldn’t stand for more than 10 minutes and I was finding it frustrating when the little one wouldn’t latch on to breastfeed. There were visitors coming in non-stop! Don’t get me wrong, I appreciated that everyone wanted to congratulate us and see the baby, but I looked horrific and felt like I’d been run over by a bus. I also couldn’t get out of my head that it could be 4 more months of this until my body started healing. I also didn’t get how my body wanted me to bleed, breast feed, rest, and heal all in one?
It’s actually quite funny thinking about it now…me and my husband said no to the contraception talk with the nurse after I’d given birth. I outright said no one is coming near me and I have a human to look after. There I was 3 months into the whole thing throwing up whilst breastfeeding and pregnant with baby number two!
When baby number two arrived I had people constantly in my ear telling me I can’t do this and not to eat that, but I had a son who wouldn’t stay with anyone else and who was constantly feeding. I wasn’t trying to make this into a clingy relationship but there’s only so much crying I could listen to when he was with someone else. Was it even fair to expect him to detach so easily?
I want you to know that I really had no idea what I was doing, I was just rolling with it trying to do my best. I would shower and brush my teeth as soon as my husband got home, and this was my favourite time! I would literally have all my favourite products out to use, I even splashed out on a new skincare range because I looked forward to having those 20 minutes to get ready for myself. Even if this was just before ‘bed’.
I had a real battle with the feeding in the house, my mother-in-law couldn’t feed her children, so the only advice she could give me was give him a bottle! My mum on the other hand was fortunate enough to have breast fed us so she helped as much as she could.
I remember sitting there for hours with both my first born during those first few weeks. They just wanted the comfort, I suppose he got used to being spoilt, and I didn’t know any different. I felt like I had no time to do anything else, it was like, feed, change, naptime, repeat!
There are so many more truths to delve into once us ladies have given birth. I wanted to share a little bit about my story but something I can’t leave without saying is that your boobs hurt so much when you’re trying to stop feeding. I had Chinese cabbage shoved down my bra non-stop to help the pain. Old wives’ tale I guess…
