Pregnancy with your 4th child is a completely different experience as far as I’m concerned. Before I say anything else, can I just say nothing, absolutely nothing can prepare you for having four kids. No matter how much you plan and prepare, believe me, you have no idea what’s about to happen in your life. I would liken it to an earthquake, both physically and mentally. Mentally I had to deal with the comments and opinions that I was given by both family and friends. My own mother, whom I didn’t actually tell until I was nearly 6 months pregnant, told me, that I was mad and why on earth would I do this to myself. My friends were slightly better, they just looked at me, smiled and said you are brave.
The thing is, at this point in your life you are so crazy busy with the other three darlings that you will hardly remember that you’re even pregnant. I remember running around dropping them off to school, nursery and then rushing home to cook lunch. The scan and antenatal appointments were frankly inconvenient. The pregnancy itself was relatively easy. The aches and pains were not as much Alhamdulillah but I think that’s because by the time you actually sit down or go to bed, you’re so exhausted that you won’t feel anything.
With my other pregnancies, especially the first one, any aches or even a twinge would fill me with fear and have me running to look up what it could mean. I would call my midwife to double check. Now I just put it down to not having a coffee. Look I had to get through the day ok, don’t judge!
Now let’s talk about the hospital bag. The bag I took with me to hospital the first time was truly something. I bought everything on the list, the midwife had given me. Everything was branded and super expensive. From the best nappies’ money could buy, to super soft cotton baby grows. All bought from Mothercare obviously. All products carefully researched by me to make sure they didn’t cause any colic or discomfort to the baby. There were no bottles, powdered milk or any soothers just in case they damaged the baby’s non existent teeth.
Now fast forward to the hospital bag for baby 4. I will keep this simple, everything was from the local supermarket, Asda own brand, in this case. There was a 12 pack of readymade baby milk and 5 soothers, one in every pocket, I wasn’t going to be silly again. My tolerance to a screaming hungry baby was well and truly over. As for breastfeeding, good on you if you can but I had literally enough milk to satisfy a small robin not a baby. I was so over the horror stories about bottle fed babies. Alhamdulillah I had 3 healthy bottle-fed kids.
After having 3 babies, I was now an expert in exactly was needed, the baby marketing strategies did not work on me. At pregnancy 4, I had this down! Things I couldn’t do much about was the fact neither the house nor the car fit us anymore but on the positive side, my tolerance to mess was now on a really high level. So, what if the house was a mess, everyone was fed and happy, that’s the important thing.
When we finally brought the baby home, it truly was amazing. Having them staring at the baby in amazement is so lovely and they were helpful too. One could pass a nappy and one could grab the wipes at changing time so it was all good.
Kids are truly a gift from Allah but after having 4, that shop is well and truly closed.
